Christmas telly is normally gash but this year is taking the biscuit. BBC News even showed some of The Queen's Christmas speech and gave away the plot. Without spoiler tags. Bastards. Wait, I mean Merry Christmas everyone!
Anyway, there are some good/interesting things on UK telly this Christmas ('The Incredibles', 'Speed', 'Gladiator, a new 'Poirot' and the penultimate 'Dr. Who' ep with David Tennant) but they're mostly in the late evening. With not much on during the day, you can either play one of your new fangled DVDs (inevitable Christmas pressie) or alternatively, consult BBC iPlayer. Only UK users though, the rest of you are on the naughty list.
If you find yourself with a couple of hours to spare Ridley Scott's final cut of 'Blade Runner' (watchable until 10.54pm on 26/12). Just one of a million versions of the seminal science fiction film. And if you're going to watch that, you might as well watch 'The Rules Of Film Noir' (watchable until 2.24am on 31/12).
If you've got even more time to spare, 170 minutes to be exact, then multi-Oscar winning drama 'Dances With Wolves' (watchable until 7.19pm on 26/12) might be your bag. A lot of people are comparing James Cameron's 'Avatar' to this 1990 film. Apparently, because they're both racist or something.
Some might baulk at the respective lengths of those two films, especially if you've got little ones. In which case, 'Arthur's Perfect Christmas' (watchable until 1.59pm on 26/12) would be perfect. And there are plenty of the shorter episodes of Arthur and his other animal friends up on the iPlayer.
Others might be feeling a bit more retrospective about 2009. Charlie Brooker is your man. 'Screenwipe' (watchable until 10.39pm on 30/12) is back with a review of the year. In typical Brooker fashion, it's terrific caustic, satirical fare.
Otherwise, just eat, drink and be merry!